Personality Ratings

Last night Steve & I hung out and drank whiskey at his place. One of our favorite past times. I got drunk.
While drunk, I proceeded to bring up the attractiveness scale and talk about how depressing it was starting to make me feel.
We went outside though before I got really drunk to cool off because his air conditioning doesn't work. I walked up and down the stairs barefoot. It had rained and was a little wet.
"I decided that I'm just going to be a 5. Fuck the scale."
"Okay."
"I hate that goddamn scale. And all the dating up and dating down shit. I could date a 5. I have a chance." Steve is of the school of thought that guys never date down. Which would imply that girls never date up. Which means if I'm somewhere in the 2 range, that I can only logically date 1's.
Those thoughts scared me the most because I know I have dated unattractive guys. And also jerks and idiots and people who just aren't... I don't know, cool people.
"Anyways, I just want to think I'm a 5. I was fine before we brought all this up. Now I'm so worried about being ugly. And I'm cute. I don't have anything wrong with me. And I'm fun."
"Well that's personality."
"Ok, so I don't like the scale that takes away personality."
"That's really the only way we can rate people that we don't know very well though."
He checked the steps to see how wet they really were at this point and finally made the decision to sit down.
"Okay, then let's rate personality now. Even people we don't know very well. It can be first impression for them."
All I really wanted to know was what I would be.

We did the first few, some neutral people, and he tended to dock people that were uptight, not funny, not particularly fun. Actually, he rated the last 2 girls he's had a crush on as fairly low. I was surprised.
"It really has a lot to do, though, with what the people doing the rating value as good traits," he explained.
I sat down beside him, stretched my legs out to rest on the cold concrete.
I edged into asking about the people I wanted to know about the most.
"Okay, what about Kelsey?" His ex-girlfriend.
"Kelsey? My Kelsey?"
"Yeah."
"Well, just hanging out, if you weren't her significant other, she would be a high 4."
"Okay. I wondered. Cool."
He hadn't given out many 4's at this point.
"And Becca?" I felt jealous just saying her name.
He shrugged a little and rolled his head around. "Becca's a 5. You know that."
"I guess."
"She's what I'm looking for."
"What?" I knew exactly what, that she was his big love, the one that it never worked with. Nothing even ever happened, it was just this huge unrequited crush. She's the girl that he thinks of as perfect, that he holds everyone else up to in comparison. And I don't know where I fare in that comparison. This was part of my motives for the personality ratings, selfish and sick as it is.
I knew when we started that he would rate me high, but not as high as Becca.
We went back to rating some neutral people, the Faatherton kids I think, a few others. Then he mentioned the rest of the "Fantastic Four", his best friends from Kirksville. Becca is one of them. All the rest are guys and I get them mixed up. It's hard when you don't have any mental images, but only a set of stories that goes with each person.
The other members of the Fantastic Four were mostly high 4's. I don't think they were 5's. Garen was a 4.9, I remember that one specifically.
So at this point, with all his best friends being high 4's, I'm ready for my rating of high 4 as well.
"So what about me?"
He did the same quick semi-shrug, head-roll, why-are-you-asking-me-obvious-ones movement. "You're a 5."
I don't know what my shocked face looks like, but anyone walking by at that moment would have seen it.
"Oh."
I stared down at my feet and the concrete, not sure what to say.
After a minute I spoke in a small voice. "Thank you."


And now the confusion sets in. If he doesn't know many people who are 5's, and Becca is the model he's using to judge 5's, and I am a 5, does that mean I fit Becca's model of a 5? And if so, what makes me undesirable?

This just gets more complicated every day.