Beauty and the Security Guard

This morning at 1:30 a.m. I visited Steve at his job, which is as a security guard overnight at a factory. No one is there at night, so even though I probably shouldn't have been there for more than 15 minutes or so, I stayed for an hour and a half. I don't think he cared.

He's my best friend and that's why I went to see him, drove fifteen minutes out of town. I was thinking about who else I would do that for, and I think that if he was a she, if I was like a normal girl with a best friend who is female I wouldn't go out of my way for her. It would be different.

On the phone with Steve.
"I'm making a grocery list. I think I'm going to go finally get groceries."
"Oh, can you pick me up a Mountain Dew? I have money but I didn't have time to stop on the way here. I've already bought a can out of the machine."
"Um. I guess." I wanted him to say that he wanted me to come see him. "So you want me to come out there?"
"Yeah, I mean, if you want to."
"I guess I can."
We proceeded to talk for the next 30 minutes after that while I was grocery shopping, which he said took a really long time.

At the place he was posted, outside of town, we sat in my jeep with the doors open and rated our friend's looks. He did the girls and I did the guys.
It's really hard for me to think about people's looks objectively, without taking into consideration their personality. Steve had trouble too, but not nearly as much. It's a girl/guy thing I'm sure.
I also had trouble figuring out the scale. When I rate people, I usually use a 1-10 scale, but I assume that 5 is below average and below 5 is some sort of problem that you can't control. A deformity or something.
Steve remade the scale on a 1-5, with 3 being average, 1 being wholly unattractive but not deformed, and 5 being really attractive, top 10%. I couldn't put many people in the 5 and neither could he. We just don't surround ourselves with beautiful people. That's ok.
I had trouble thinking of a 1 also, but I finally came up with someone who is just not great to look at. Most people though were between 2.5 and 3.5.
Steve came up with a 1 easily.

I knew he wouldn't ask me, but I tried to think objectively about where I would put him on the scale. He's not ugly by any means. I personally think he's really cute. But objectively? I can't be objective with him, I realized. And maybe I just don't really take in his face very often. Strange.
I think he would put me as a 2 or so. Although I would like to think that I'm just an average 3, I feel that I should aim low and avoid disappointment. Considering that he put people as 2's who I feel are prettier than me. And with my weight on top of that, it doesn't look too good for me. But I do have a pretty face I feel. We're middle of the road though, we've discussed it before.

No one wants to be ugly.